Small Group Tips

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To all my leaders out there…What comes to mind when you hear the words “small group”?

The word investment comes to my mind. Leading a group of girls is an investment. It’s giving of your time and energy to pour into the lives of your girls. It’s not a one-hour or one-day-a-week kind of investment but a weekly and multi-hour investment.

This investment isn’t always easy. Distractions will come when you are teaching. Conflict will arise between some of your girls. Your girls may struggle with pressure from their peers, face a loss or have their life completely turned upside down. When those difficult times come, a girl will turn to the one who is truly invested in them.

Let me share some tips I’ve learned as I have invested in the lives of my girls through the years. 

SMALL GROUP TIME TIPS

Whether your group meets on Sunday, Wednesday, or some other time during the week, here are 3 practical steps you can take to invest in your girls. 

LET THEM LEAD 

Give the girls responsibilities on Sunday morning - taking prayer requests, bringing snacks, reading scripture, or praying. Not all the girls will want to participate and that’s okay.  If you are consistent with letting them all have the opportunity, they may surprise you. Giving them responsibility gives them a sense of ownership in the group.

SURPRISE THEM 

Do the unexpected! Change up the regular format of the group time. If possible, change the location – use a different room or go outside. The occasional change in routine creates excitement and anticipation because the girls don’t know what to expect. 

GO DEEPER

Sometimes you need a day to take a deeper look to see where your girls are, where they need to be challenged and where they need encouragement. Here are some ways for you to do this…

Photo by Meredith Spencer on Unsplash

WHERE THEY ARE: Come up with questions to ask your girls. Ask questions that will give you an idea of where they are physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Make it a handout so that it can stay between the two of you. This will help you know how to challenge them and encourage them in the weeks to come. Do this just a couple of times a year. Maybe at the beginning and end of each semester.

Sample Questions:

• How is your relationship with the Lord? (Give options like - Don’t have one, moving away from God, growing slowly, etc)

• What are you struggling with the most right now?

• On a scale from 1-10 how do you feel right now with _________? (You fill in the blank and then give them a range with what 1 and 10 each represent.)

• How many days a week do you spend reading God’s Word on your own?

*Need more help with questions to ask -  email kmministries@kristamichelle.com

WHERE THEY NEED TO BE CHALLENGED: This is where accountability comes in. You need to give them some accountability as a group and individually. As a group, find ways to challenge them to grow in their relationship with God (daily devotionals, Bible reading plan, memorizing scripture) As you get to know your girls, ask them how they each would like to be challenged in their personal growth. Then hold them accountable. Take a few minutes every Sunday to check in on the group accountability and then find a day each week to check in individually. There may be some girls that don’t want to be held accountable or challenged and you need to be okay with that. Give them space and pray for them. There may come a time when they will want it. 

WHERE THEY NEED ENCOURAGEMENT: This is where you affirm your girls and allow them to affirm each other.  Give the girls the opportunity to take their eyes off themselves and encourage one another. First, model for your girls the right way to affirm one another by affirming them. Then allow them to follow your lead. Choose creative ways to make sure each girl gets affirmation and each girl affirms someone different each time. 

When choosing to go deeper, it should never take the place of the lesson you are to teach that day. Instead, adjust how you teach that day to give you time to do one of the three suggestions for going deeper. They don’t need to be done all at once. 

Your regularly scheduled small group time is just the beginning of your investment into the lives of your girls. It must continue into the week if you want to have an impact on a girl’s life.  But keep in mind you may never see a big impact from your investment but there are always small ones. You just have to be looking. 

WEEKLY TIPS

There are three practical ways I want to give you for investing during the week. 

 CHECKING IN 

Check in with your group. Have a group text going through a messenger app. Use it to send encouraging scriptures, give group accountability, ask questions that get them talking and just see how they are doing. 

Check in individually. Make a determined number of phone calls each week to personally check in on your girls so everyone gets called once a month. Send a text to follow up on prayer requests. 

Check in with moms and any single dads. Moms need to know you love their daughters and respect their role as moms. This is why it’s important to develop a relationship with the moms so that you can work together in helping their daughters grow spiritually. When it comes to single dads, you can’t have the same relationship with them but they do need to know that you respect the role they play as mom and dad. They also need to know that you will share with them things they need to know to best help their daughter.

 SHOW UP

Get your girls’ extra-curricular schedules and show up to a game, concert, show, competition, etc. Try and make one event for each of the girls that give you a schedule. Show up for student ministry events, whether you work the whole event or just make an appearance. Let them know that it’s important to you to be there. 

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 GIRL TIME

Plan fun activities for your girls outside of regularly scheduled meetings and student ministry events. The key is a little is a lot. So, plan something about once a quarter. Include your girls and their moms in your plan and occasionally invite the moms to join.

Your small group times are vital in the spiritual growth of young ladies. But only investing one day a week won’t help them connect or give them a sense of belonging for the long term.

What you do during the week…

GIVES THEM VALUE

KEEPS THEM ENGAGED

GIVES YOU MORE OPPORTUNITIES TO INVEST

Investing takes commitment. If you are truly going to have a kingdom impact you must be committed weekly, even when it gets hard. But those more difficult times can be some of the most rewarding seasons of investment, for you and the girls.